PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING. Part- 1

Good Parenting is the most important duty of all the parents or would-be parents and similarly, grandparenting too is of great importance and a joyful experience for the grandparents, if they are lucky enough to get the opportunity to provide this support. Its importance lies in the fact that you, as parents, are providing the family their successors and to the nation its future. For a successful and bright future of the family as well as that of the nation, the parents, as well as the grandparents, have to bring up their generations into healthy, intelligent, and positive minded citizens.

The parenting and the grandparenting start from the day one of the conceiving of the baby and doesn’t end despite the fact that children grow as adults and become self-sufficient, get married and start living independently. It is a lifelong process because children will remain as children for their parents, irrespective of their age or status, till their parents are alive. The parents at some stage take on the responsibility of grandparenting and this circle goes on repeating from generation to generation. So, in a way, parenting and grandparenting keep on changing positions with time.

Parenting as well as grandparenting needs to be taken very seriously and not casually. It should be done with the same spirit as a Worship, Tapasya, or an Ebadat and nothing less than that.

Role of parents and grandparents during the period between conceiving and the delivery.

The parents especially the would-be mother has to take care of her health and hygiene particularly during the period of conceiving and the delivery. She should be provided simple but nutritious food. Junk, spicy and very hot food, as well as very cold beverages/liquids, should be avoided. She should remain active and in good mood, all the times, and avoid any tension. Her husband and his parents especially the mother should make all efforts to keep the expecting mother tension free and provide full support to keep her happy and cheerful.

During this period the expecting mothers undergo many physical and emotional changes, which may be their first experience. The senior lady(Mother or mother in law) has to provide support and advice in order to keep her tension free. There should be complete harmony in the family and frictions if any should be avoided.

Proper health care has to be provided with a regular checkup by a qualified gynecologist. The course of medicines advised by the doctor should be properly followed. The lady should avoid lifting of heavy load, frisk walking and driving on bumpy roads.

As each and every action and mood of the would-be mother has a strong and lasting effect on the child’s shaping, character, and behavior, so the entire family needs to keep the would-be mother always in good spirits and mood with positivity in her thinking process. Photographs of great men of character, healthy and smiling babies, Saints and Sufis, and beautiful pictures be displayed in the bedroom of the would-be mother.

The expecting mother should as far as possible avoid the use of mobile phone. Its strong signals and radiations have adverse effects on the health of the expecting mother and the baby in her womb. The habit of excessive use of mobile phone gets transformed into habits of the child. We are a witness to this attitude of infants who become addicts to the use of mobile phones from the very infanthood.

DELIVERY

Delivery is the most crucial moment in the life of a mother as well the whole family. The entire family especially the senior ladies have to provide good advice, support, and courage to the expecting mother and be with her at this crucial juncture. The process of delivery should always be under the supervision of a qualified and experienced Gynaecologist and his team.

THE FIRST CRY

The delivery may be normal or cesarean, the labor pains in both the cases are extreme and unbearable but for GAINS ONE HAS TO BEAR THE PAINS. Once the baby is born, his FIRST CRY makes the mother forget all pains and she gets filled with extreme love, satisfaction, and pride. This is the only moment when a mother smiles with happiness on the crying of her baby.

THE ROLE OF GRANDPARENTS

The role of grandparents if they are lucky to have such an opportunity, starts at this point. They have to take care of both, the mother and the child. Personal hygiene, as well as that of the newborn and his mother, should not be lost sight of at any moment. taking the newborn to the pediatrician for the first medical checkup, changing his clothes, feeding as advised by the doctor, and personal care of the mother is the duty of the grandparents. Care should be taken to not touch the newborn without disinfecting your hands. Anyone suffering from a cough, cold or any other infectious disease should be politely advised not to come near the mother and the newborn because both are more prone to infection. As far as possible the newborn should be breastfed by the mother. This needs to be encouraged in the larger interests of the baby and her mother. The room of the mother and the baby should be kept germs, mosquito, and flies free.

The lactating mother needs to be provided healthy and nourishing food, proper hygiene and medical care. Grandparents to ensure that Proper immunization is followed and the schedule is strictly adhered to. Once the mother regains her health and is able to do her daily chores, the grandparents have to support her in her daily life till she learns the art of handling her normal routine as well as the additional responsibility of handling the infant. Henceforth the role of grandparents is only to play with the toddler. It is very difficult for these senior citizens to be away from the newly born, even for a minute. The grandchildren too in their turn like to play and remain with their grandparents, because they find them more accommodating than their parents.

Playing with the grandchildren is a fun of supreme pleasure. You both forget all etiquettes of normal behavior. People with toothless mouth and face full of wrinkles, make funny faces to make their grandchildren burst into laughter. Doing this, again and again, may look awkward to people around, but who bothers this damn? You drive pleasure and happiness from the natural smiles and waves of laughter of your grandchildren. Have you ever thought as to why they laugh with so much ease on looking at your funny faces? They, in fact, consider you as their big living toys and the biggest jokers on this planet. Do you mind being branded so? You can’t; as contrarily you love to be so for the love and happiness of your grandchildren.

They will catch hold of your nose, ears or hair. They may touch your boned cheeks with their tender hands, thus sending waves of intense love and satisfaction down your spine. You love to play with them and derive enjoyment as much as they do. Do you know why? It is because both of you are birds of the same flock; both are very near to The God. They have just separated from Him and you are about to go to His lap. This nearness to the universal Father is a unique attribute which connects you both with love and tranquility.

Do supplement breastfeeding with other baby foods if required and start giving semisolid or solid food after six months. Take care to provide calcium doses at the time of teething of babies. Go for regular medical checkups. Provide good toys especially which provide education and help build good thinking processes. Massaging the child is important as it provides flexibility and good flow of blood in the veins. It should be done regularly.

Babies learn very fast. They see you speaking and try to move their tongue in order to make a sound. They imitate your movements and behavior in order to learn as to how to walk, move, talk and do other things. It is very important to maintain or to showcase good behavior in the family because the child will always have an eye on you all, and will learn and copy the styles of your behavior; howsoever good or bad those may be. So in a way, he is helping you to mend your ways. It is therefore advisable to behave well with all in the family and around in order to imbibe good qualities in your would be generations. ……………..To be continued in part -2.

Author: Kuldeep Kumar Sharma

I am an Ex-banker having 38 years of experience in different fields and capacities in banking and social life. I started the career at a very humble position and ended at a senior position of President of the bank.

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