PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING. PART- 2

As already discussed in part-1, parenting and grandparenting never cease to exist till we live; these only undergo a change from one to the other. The attachment (Moh) with children is responsible for the propagation of life on this planet. Just think for a while, if the parents don’t care about the new-born babies, the life will come to an end. Nature creates attachment in the hearts of parents and grandparents for the baby before he or she takes birth. From day one nature provides the new-born with two permanent and dedicated caretakers in the form of mother and father, who sacrifice their everything for the upbringing of their child. Nature creates milk in the breasts of the mother on the birth of new-born so that he can be fed till he is able to take solid food. The moment he needs solid food,  nature gives teeth to the baby and when he needs more hard food, the delicate milk teeth are replaced automatically with the set of hard teeth. Nature has its own way of working and it works through the medium of its creation.

Anyway, the aim of good parenting is to shape the future of the child in such a way that he is able to face the world with courage and contribute a lot to the welfare of the future generations as well as to the nation, and to the mankind.

The initial five years of child’s life are very crucial. He makes a lot of efforts to learn to speak, sit, stand, walk, play, interact and understand many things including pre-nursery education. By nature, he is a keen watcher and a fast learner, parents have therefore to be very cautious about their child. No quarreling, no shouting, no harsh words, no punishments for and before your child. Always remain positive, friendly, and cool before him. Teach him to respect elders, socialize with people, obey elders, avoid arguments, give suitable time to his studies and playing games. He should be taught, rather encouraged to share his toys and eatables with other family members and friends. Sharing and caring can be taught only at this age. When he is to go to school, do take care of his health and hygiene. Teach him to wash hands before and after meals, clean his nose whenever required with a handkerchief. Do help him in taking bath and using the toilet till he learns to do the same.

From the sixth year onwards the child learns a lot about his family, relatives, friends, and surroundings. The child at this stage needs to be disciplined and his thought and energies properly channelized. He should be encouraged to follow a proper daily routine, like going to bed, getting up early, a little morning walk or exercise, taking a bath, getting ready for school in time, checking his school bag to ensure that all necessary books, notebooks, lunchbox, water bottle etc are properly kept inside. After school, do interact with him to make him comfortable so that before taking his meals he is off from the school fatigue. Help him in getting fresh and in changing his clothes. Give him time for playing, watching a programme of his choice on TV, help him in completing his homework. Both parents, as well as grandparents, should be quite friendly with them and understand their weaknesses and strong points, as only then they will be in a position to provide good counseling and support for the overall development in their child’s character and behavior. They should take care, recognize, and appreciate the interests and choices of their children. The children at this stage must be made to understand the difference between a good and a bad touch as well as the way to react in case of such an eventuality. 

During the period of juvenility, there is an element of the immaturity of thought and conduct in the behavior of a child. This period is very crucial in the life of a child. Parents, as well as grandparents, need to keep a strict and secret watch on the behavior and activities of their child especially in the present times when everything is available on the internet with the press of a button. Give more time to the child, be more friendly with them and keep them engaged in studies, games, and other extracurricular activities so that they don’t remain idle. It is always advisable to engage the child in the decision making on small family issues and give recognition to their point of view so that they feel their importance and remain attached to the family. Please remember that an idle man’s brain is devil’s workshop. Don’t let his mind become a Devil’s workshop. This is a stage when the parents may have to be strict sometimes in order to discipline their child. The old proverb  ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ is to be kept in mind by the parents. The grandparents at this stage should not interfere with the hard decisions of the child’s parents and rather should keep cool.

Parents have sometimes to take tough decisions in the interests of their child and the child being more close and comfortable with the grandparents, may try to attract their sympathies and support in order to oppose the decision and behavior of his parents towards him. Grandparents should never support the child, instead, they should, politely and with love, try to make the child understand the point of view of his parents and support the view in the overall interests of the child.

Once the child becomes major and completes his education, do provide him support and guidance for choosing and starting his career……………   Then the marriage of the child and his life takes a new turn. Shortly the parents will become grandparents and the grandparents will become great-grandparents or the Gone-grandparents and the Life will keep on changing positions. Please keep on passing the family values and traditions to the future generations. Family traditions and the family values are the roots which must remain strong to keep the family tree growing and developing.

Author: Kuldeep Kumar Sharma

I am an Ex-banker having 38 years of experience in different fields and capacities in banking and social life. I started the career at a very humble position and ended at a senior position of President of the bank.

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