PAINS OF RETIRED LIFE

Pleasures and pains go side by side. Every coin has two sides. The day is followed by night and winters by summers. Everything attracts its opposite and the cycle of nature goes on moving. Nothing remains stationary in this world. Change is the secret which sustains life. Changes may be positive or negative and we have to bear both with a bowed head as there is no escape.

The pains of retired life is a mix of crunches of both retired life and of old age because incidentally, the retirement generally happens at a comparatively advanced stage of the age. The pleasures and sense of freedom one can enjoy under certain circumstances is already discussed in the previous blog published on 9th Feb,2018. The pains of retired life/old age can be :-

  • Health issues of self and that of the spouse.
  • Change in attitude of associates, relatives, and friends towards you.
  • No pension or inadequate pension to meet day to day needs.
  • No one to take care in case of an emergency.
  • Pending family settlements and liabilities.
  • Children not suitably settled.
  • Depression because there is no work to substantiate abundant free time.

The only solution to all these problems is to live to the will of Lord and change your own attitude towards life. We are not the masters of everything and might not be destined to finish every so-called liability during our lifetime. There is always something pending for others to complete or accomplish.

Life is full of struggles from day one until the end. We did struggle to speak, sit, crawl, and walk when we were infants. Struggle for learning, understanding various fields and activities kept us engaged throughout our school to college and university days. We further intensified our struggle to build our careers. And now at this old age, Can we avoid making struggles? We have to continue struggling until the end with a Positive Mental Attitude.

The sufferings and pains are part of life for all of us. Health issues are a cause for concern especially at the old age when many vital organs get fatigued, become weak and can’t give the required output to keep our body healthy. Our body is a very complicated machine and consists of thousands of working parts and millions of cells. These have been working tirelessly for so many years. Parts of any machine do get worn out and need replacement, which in case of the human body are a  very costly affair and in some cases not possible. We have to bear with this, as there is no other way out. It is advisable to get medical insurance done in order to take care of heavy expenses in case of an emergency.

After one is out of power he should not expect his associates, relatives, and friends to flock him the way they were doing when he was in power. Our relationships of all types are because of some need or dependence which is a bitter truth. Once that need is fulfilled or we lose the capacity to meet people’s needs, they will start disassociating from us, in the same manner, we did with our associates, relatives, and friends when they lost power or capacity to help us. Needs and interests are the basis of many relationships with few exceptions.  Who will then come to our rescue in such state of affairs in this world? Only Lord is our hope. He loves us more than anybody else and that too without any expectations from us. SO CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE, DO NOT CARRY BAGGAGE,  FACE THE SITUATION WITH POSITIVE MINDSET, AND LEAVE EVERYTHING TO THE WILL OF LORD. Unnecessarily taking these things seriously will only make you more uncomfortable leading to Stress or Depression. Ignore people who ignore you and stop bothering about them.

You must make financial arrangements for the rainy days of your life while in active service/job. You are bound to suffer humiliation in case you don’t have regular and adequate resources to meet your needs. Stay with your children or relatives if you can manage or go to an old age home. All of us have to bear our KARMAS; no escape. Your children or close relative may not be able to devote more time to you because of their own compulsions. Stay calm and contended and thank GOD that at least they are with you.

Settle your liabilities well in time otherwise, you will remain worrying when you will become unable to settle them. You can’t make hay when the sun is not shining. Try your best to settle your children well in time. However, if you could not do, don’t worry as your worry will not help. It will only add more wrinkles to your face and help you to increase your stress, blood pressure, and depression. You played your inning well and now it is their turn to earn and take care of you.

Please understand that all of us have to pass through pleasures and pains while we are in this human body. We have to bear our own Cross as this world is run by one universal principle ‘AS YOU SO, SO SHALL YOU REAP’. When Lord Rama, Lord Krishna, Hazrat Mohammad Sahib(PBUH), Guru Nanak Dev Ji and other Gurus suffered and fought battles with the evil, how can you be an exception? During the battle of Mahabharat Pandavas fought with their own brothers; The Kauravas. This signifies that the evil is within us and we have to fight it within. Arjun the great warrior surrendered to Lord Krishna and gave the reins of his chariot to Him and shot arrows in the direction Lord Krishna moved the chariot. Have we ever surrendered control of the chariot of our life to Lord and fought the battle of life ourselves? Instead, we hold the reins in our hands and want the Lord to fight for us. This will not work.  We have to live up to His will and remain satisfied because both pains and pleasures come with His will.

The Fifth Sikh Guru, Guru Arjan Dev Ji Maharaj, was being tortured by making him sit on the hot iron plate and boiling water was poured on his head and before being martyred, you know what he said? “Tera bhana meetha lage”, Means “Oh my Lord All this is happening with your will and your will is sweet to me”.

When Jesus Christ was mercilessly tortured before being crucified, He prayed to GOD and said,”O GOD forgive them because they don’t know what they are doing”. This is the level of tolerance that is expected for attaining peace and tranquility.

 

So, remain contended in whatever circumstances the Lord keeps you. He will always give us what is to our benefit; a chocolate or a bitter medicine. He knows well, so don’t fear or worry even about your death. You don’t have much time at your disposal so live to the hour. No time to worry. Keep on doing good and remain happy. Let God worry about you.

PLEASURES OF RETIRED LIFE

The golden period of your life starts when you retire from the active service or from active business/profession. This is the period when you can enjoy the Life as per your own choice and with full freedom without any worries, provided:-

  • You have Settled all your liabilities during the active period of your life.
  • Your children have settled professionally and personally.
  • You have a place to live which you can call your own Home; with your family who cares for you.
  • You have suitable pension or an accumulated pension fund to meet your needs.
  • And above all, You and Your spouse have maintained Good Health and a good understanding of each other.

If you look back to your pre-retirement days; You were so tight scheduled and having no time for your life partner, no time for family trips or even pilgrimage. You were always requesting leaves so that you could share time with your loved ones but the boss always frowned upon you with most typical lines,”You have so much of  pending work, how can you even think of going on leave???” and You listened to all this with a bowed head out of sheer compulsion. Your blood pressure rose during supervisor’s visits and his reprimands. The multitasking activities both in office and at home kept you under constant stress. Even when you tried to calm your mind through meditation and tried your best to concentrate, you couldn’t because the angry face of your boss always occupied the upper layers of your mind. You were more loyal to the ticking sound of your clock or the office or factory siren than anything else in this universe.

Now the Life is completely different after retirement, you are free from all those shackles, pulls and pressures? Don’t you now feel yourself nearer to GOD than ever before? Now you have enough time for everything of your choice. Now you are the boss of your own wishes and wills. You are now a free bird, so enjoy your flight of life like a bird. Keep on chirping, land at places you like, eat what you like to eat, and dance with your partner the way you both like.

Now, this is the time for you to enjoy the fruits and charms of freedom. Is not this amazing that the entire twenty-four hours of the day and all three hundred sixty-five and a quarter days of the year are your’s and your’s only? Every day is a holiday; a holiday for which you had to wait for five to six days in a week and you were never sure if the boss would call you on holiday for some urgent work. All your plans to enjoy on the weekly off used to be marred by such compulsions. Now no compulsions, as you are boss of your own self, so enjoy, enjoy and enjoy only. Remove all, from the life that comes between you and your happiness, your peace of mind, and GOD; be it a dispute, grudge, hate, anger or a complex.

Always try to remain happy and fearless. Don’t interfere in the affairs of others especially your own children. You may give advice if asked for, but let them have their own way. Don’t try to squeeze the generation gap as it will generate reactions and disturb your and family harmony.

Always be on the path of truth and don’t fear anything, not even your death. Whatever has to happen will happen; you can’t change it, then why worry; face it smilingly. At the same time don’t take much liberty of your freedom because everything will not happen as per your choice  Everyone can’t have similar choices and wishes, these differ from person to person, so let GOD decide what to do for you. The BIG BOSS is boss of the whole universe and loves us all. He takes care of all of us so don’t doubt his intentions. The best is, to surrender before Him and live to His will. You can’t change circumstances but you can change your attitude, so change it according to the times and always remain positive.

You are at the ripe age, so remember that you are the most beautiful human being. A fruit is more beautiful when it is ripe and so are you. Feel this beauty inside and outside you. Don’t expose yourself to risks such as investments in share markets, crypto currencies, Ponzi schemes or in any scheme of volatile nature because a ripe fruit can’t afford to withstand the winds and jerks of risks.

You are now more close to nature. Grow plants and watch them sprout out of the soil, and then growing into plants with tiny and shining leaves, flowering with magnificent colors and then bearing fruits and seeds. The pearl-like tiny dew drops on the leaves of plants and the grass in the morning are an amazing miracle to see.

Some people complain that they have too much spare time so they get bored. Getting bored in the twenty-first century is an impossible proposition. Make use of eighth and ninth wonders of the world if you luckily have both. The eighth wonder is your spouse who in spite being illiterate or less qualified, or even more qualified than you, remained with you through thick and thin when all nears and dears left you in adversity. You at this age have an exceptional understanding of each other. No one understands your mood, feelings and needs better than your better half. How beautifully she/he adjusts to every situation however difficult it may be. Is not that great wonder?

Your mobile phone is the ninth wonder of the world. Through the internet, you remain connected with the whole world. You can have any information available with the touch of a button. You can play games, read books of all types, see pictures of cities and places of the world over, watch movies and listen to music of your choice, share greetings and other messages with your friends and talk face to face with your relatives and friends living in any part of the globe.

So enjoy your retired life in a Smart Way. Don’t remain stuck to TV or mobile phone or your bed. Go for morning and evening walks even if for short distances. Do talk to and play with your grandchildren whenever you are with them. Play with kids of your locality. This will bring freshness and spirit of youthfulness in you.

You are lucky if you are enjoying Retired life, so thank God and keep smiling, meet friends, associates. Do some social service for the society without any considerations. Each day is a bonus for you. No one knows how much time we will get to stay in this beautiful world, so make the best use of whatever little time you have at your disposal. Do as much good as you can and remain as much contended as possible.