PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING. PART- 2

As already discussed in part-1, parenting and grandparenting never cease to exist till we live; these only undergo a change from one to the other. The attachment (Moh) with children is responsible for the propagation of life on this planet. Just think for a while, if the parents don’t care about the new-born babies, the life will come to an end. Nature creates attachment in the hearts of parents and grandparents for the baby before he or she takes birth. From day one nature provides the new-born with two permanent and dedicated caretakers in the form of mother and father, who sacrifice their everything for the upbringing of their child. Nature creates milk in the breasts of the mother on the birth of new-born so that he can be fed till he is able to take solid food. The moment he needs solid food,  nature gives teeth to the baby and when he needs more hard food, the delicate milk teeth are replaced automatically with the set of hard teeth. Nature has its own way of working and it works through the medium of its creation.

Anyway, the aim of good parenting is to shape the future of the child in such a way that he is able to face the world with courage and contribute a lot to the welfare of the future generations as well as to the nation, and to the mankind.

The initial five years of child’s life are very crucial. He makes a lot of efforts to learn to speak, sit, stand, walk, play, interact and understand many things including pre-nursery education. By nature, he is a keen watcher and a fast learner, parents have therefore to be very cautious about their child. No quarreling, no shouting, no harsh words, no punishments for and before your child. Always remain positive, friendly, and cool before him. Teach him to respect elders, socialize with people, obey elders, avoid arguments, give suitable time to his studies and playing games. He should be taught, rather encouraged to share his toys and eatables with other family members and friends. Sharing and caring can be taught only at this age. When he is to go to school, do take care of his health and hygiene. Teach him to wash hands before and after meals, clean his nose whenever required with a handkerchief. Do help him in taking bath and using the toilet till he learns to do the same.

From the sixth year onwards the child learns a lot about his family, relatives, friends, and surroundings. The child at this stage needs to be disciplined and his thought and energies properly channelized. He should be encouraged to follow a proper daily routine, like going to bed, getting up early, a little morning walk or exercise, taking a bath, getting ready for school in time, checking his school bag to ensure that all necessary books, notebooks, lunchbox, water bottle etc are properly kept inside. After school, do interact with him to make him comfortable so that before taking his meals he is off from the school fatigue. Help him in getting fresh and in changing his clothes. Give him time for playing, watching a programme of his choice on TV, help him in completing his homework. Both parents, as well as grandparents, should be quite friendly with them and understand their weaknesses and strong points, as only then they will be in a position to provide good counseling and support for the overall development in their child’s character and behavior. They should take care, recognize, and appreciate the interests and choices of their children. The children at this stage must be made to understand the difference between a good and a bad touch as well as the way to react in case of such an eventuality. 

During the period of juvenility, there is an element of the immaturity of thought and conduct in the behavior of a child. This period is very crucial in the life of a child. Parents, as well as grandparents, need to keep a strict and secret watch on the behavior and activities of their child especially in the present times when everything is available on the internet with the press of a button. Give more time to the child, be more friendly with them and keep them engaged in studies, games, and other extracurricular activities so that they don’t remain idle. It is always advisable to engage the child in the decision making on small family issues and give recognition to their point of view so that they feel their importance and remain attached to the family. Please remember that an idle man’s brain is devil’s workshop. Don’t let his mind become a Devil’s workshop. This is a stage when the parents may have to be strict sometimes in order to discipline their child. The old proverb  ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ is to be kept in mind by the parents. The grandparents at this stage should not interfere with the hard decisions of the child’s parents and rather should keep cool.

Parents have sometimes to take tough decisions in the interests of their child and the child being more close and comfortable with the grandparents, may try to attract their sympathies and support in order to oppose the decision and behavior of his parents towards him. Grandparents should never support the child, instead, they should, politely and with love, try to make the child understand the point of view of his parents and support the view in the overall interests of the child.

Once the child becomes major and completes his education, do provide him support and guidance for choosing and starting his career……………   Then the marriage of the child and his life takes a new turn. Shortly the parents will become grandparents and the grandparents will become great-grandparents or the Gone-grandparents and the Life will keep on changing positions. Please keep on passing the family values and traditions to the future generations. Family traditions and the family values are the roots which must remain strong to keep the family tree growing and developing.

THE DESERTED MANSIONS

From the time immemorial, Man has been building big mansions to live in happily for himself and for the generations to come. He has been building big castles and strong forts for his safety and security.

But has he achieved his desired objectives? If we look at those huge ruins today, we find the dwellers missing. These deserted mansions are dying slowly but steadily. Have the strong forts and big castles saved his life from death?

All these huge buildings are decaying, crumbling, and being consumed by insects as there is no one to take care of them. Wild bushes and big trees have taken roots in their sturdy walls and roofs. Once magnificent mansions, have now become a home for the rats, bats, vampires, cats, and monkeys. Some of these, once beautiful structures, are now haunted by the ghosts. The beautiful and priceless paintings in the magnificent halls and rooms are covered with spider webs and dust; no one to appreciate their beauty and take care of their maintenance. Has the person who got them built with so much wealth and passion, ever thought of the fate, his proud possessions would one day meet with such a pitiable condition? If by chance he again comes to human life with all his old passion and memory and visits his choicest possessions: Can anyone imagine how he would feel? He would definitely repent as to why he committed such a great blunder in his life……

Humans have the tendency of ignoring the history and trying to derive satisfaction and happiness from the huge possessions. Instead of achieving satisfaction and happiness from the possessions, they become restless while creating such possessions. Their cravings for more and more keep them toiling restlessly and sometimes they have to sacrifice the values of life and good principles of humanity. How can one derive happiness and satisfaction by such means? This is the dilemma of life and a Mirage which keeps one running until the end.

Happiness and satisfaction are not in the possessions, but these are in the contentment. A man with a contented heart is the richest of all and the  one with greed and discontented heart is worst than a beggar even if he has abundant of wealth. We should take a lesson from the history and lead a simple and contented life and should always thank the Almighty for whatever he has bestowed upon us.

Whatever you can use in your life is actually yours. What you keep on possessing without using is a waste; for others to use. One keeps on building mansions, forgetting that lifespan is very short and he may not get the opportunity to enjoy his living in those mansions which he created with so much toil.

If we take a look at the present times, nothing seems to have changed. There is no dearth of big mansions which are empty as there is no one to live in. Those for whom, their ancestors had built these huge buildings have either migrated to other cities or abroad for their living.

We care more about our future generations than for ourselves,  little realizing that if we are able enough to live our life comfortably as per socialistic and societal standards , will our  future generation not be able to do anything for themselves? Why such a negative thought takes root in our mind? If we could do something ourselves, Our future generations would do better than us. With such a positive attitude, live your life happily lest you may have to repent afterward.

LIFE

Life is a complex issue to understand. It is the best gift bestowed upon us, including all creation by the GOD. When we cant fully understand the design of his creation then how will we be able to understand Life with our little knowledge and intellect. However life can be defined as the absence of death, and death is the end of life. There is, therefore, something which goes off from living beings and causes death.

We believe that death happens or we can say life ends because of accidents, disease, heart attacks, bullets and bombs, tsunami, and natural calamities. Do everyone lose life when there is spread of disease, or there is an epidemic or accident, or there is war, or during a tsunami or natural calamity? Many people and creatures survive in spite all these happenings; don’t they? Some people traveling in same bus or train survive while others die, Many survived even during the Atom bomb attack on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. All marine life and plant, trees do not get uprooted or killed during great tsunamis.

Life sustains during earthquakes, no doubt that it becomes miserable for some and that too is a question, as to WHY?

All this is therefore not a cause to end life. It may be a reason. The birth and death are managed by GOD in a wonderfully styled design. The lifespan of all living creatures is well defined and is certain, in spite all human efforts to increase it. The upper limit is set for all by HIM. For instance, humans have a maximum of 100 years as the upper limit with some rare exceptions of few years. In spite of so much advancement in medical science including medicines, the upper age limit has not increased and life remains to be ending within the specified period allotted by GOD. If this is the state of affairs with the humans who consider themselves as TOP OF CREATION or “ASHRAF-AL-MAKHLOOQAAT”, what would be the fate of creatures in other lower categories?  Have we been able to reduce miseries of life, sufferings, pains, depressions, diseases, worries, tensions prejudices, and hate? Why people have different types and different periods of miseries or happiness or pleasures? To understand all this we have to turn to GOD himself, who has through his messengers explained all this as is contained in old scriptures. For understanding this we have to understand as to how life started on our planet.

Scientists believe that during explosions in sun’s molten mass a big and very hot chunk got separated from it, which continued to revolve around its source and with the passage of time its upper-crust cooled down and my contractions on the surface due to cooling, mountains were formed. It looks justifiable but then how was water formed that too in such a large quantity that seas and oceans were formed? How was air having all the useful ingredients and properties for sustaining life formed? Why this didn’t happen on any other known planet? Are not these wonderful mysteries. The theory of Evolution explains that life started in water and the first known living creature was Amoeba. How amoeba evolved, how it got transformed into other forms is not believably explained.

 Human beings are believed to be evolved from monkeys, then why not all monkeys became humans? Why there are still hordes of monkeys available? When will their turn come to become Top of creation?

Messengers of God tell us that all creatures live till there is life current present in them. The moment this life current which is a particle of GOD also known as Aatma, Rooh or Soul is withdrawn, the death takes over. To understand this phenomenon we have to understand the formation of this universe and ‘Law of Karma’. Scriptures tell us that this universe is made primarily of five elements:

  1. Water (liquids)
  2. Earth (solids)
  3. Air (gases)
  4. Fire (heat)
  5. Sense (sense of comprehension)

There are five main categories of living bodies; Vegetable kingdom, Reptile kingdom, Birds kingdom, Four-legged mammal’s kingdom, and above all, the Human kingdom. All the five categories have lakhs of different types of creatures living in the universe having similar characteristics. They differ in size, shape, color, and characteristics because of the presence of different types of basic elements in them in different proportions. The composition of these categories of living creatures is as under:-

  •  The first to come is the Vegetable kingdom. They have one element present in them i.e Water. All other elements are in very negligible quantity. They remain rooted to the ground and don’t travel distances.
  •  Second, comes the Reptile kingdom which has two elements present in them; Water and Earth and others being in negligible quantity. They too remain on the ground but can move distances by crawling.
  •  Birds kingdom has predominantly three elements present in them; Water, Earth, and Air. They can move on earth and can also fly in the air or swim in water.
  • The fourth being Four-legged animals have four elements present; Water, Earth, Air, and Fire. They remain on earth or in water and have the capacity to run fast.
  •  The Fifth class is that of Humans which have all the five elements in proper proportion present in them. What makes them different from all others is the element of the Sense of Comprehension present in them. They can learn and grow fast. What more they can do differently from others is well known to all of us. Humans are God’s top Creation and next only to him. It has the power to rise and merge with God and attain Salvation, Moksha, Mukti or Nejaat.

We know that all elements forming different categories of life as stated above are against one another. Water extinguishes the fire, fire evaporates water, air flares fire, earth dissolves in water. They don’t remain comfortable with each other. But they remain in complete harmony during their stay in different classes of life: WHY? The answer is the presence of the life current; the soul which keeps them in complete harmony. The moment the soul is withdrawn from the body, the decaying process starts and all these elements slowly and slowly disintegrate.

LAW OF KARMA

Law of karma; As you Sow, so shall you Reap. Every action creates a corresponding karma, good or bad. Why we have different lifespans, why some die as an infant, as a child, in young age and with accident, disease, or other reasons? All this is due to our own karmas. We cant escape results of karma’s and have to bear with them at some point of time most suitable for bearing them. Soul enters different classes of life depending on one’s karmas. Different categories of life and different sufferings are caused by different types of karmas.

PURPOSE OF HUMAN LIFE

Theory of evolution says that human life evolved through a long process of changes from lower life categories i.e. from Vegetable to Reptiles, then to Birds and Mammals and monkeys. True, but why?This all happened as a result of our own karma’s.

People became kings, paupers, laborers, bureaucrats, millionaires only because of their present, past or stored karmas. We the humans rose from lower to higher species and finally reached this top position.What should be our next goal now? What is the purpose of our life? Why God brought us to this life? Do we really understand the purpose of our life? We confuse it with an aim in life and start working to achieve that. Some aim to become kings, some bureaucrats, and industrialists. Some aim to have amazing wealth and for achieving their goal they work really hard and sometimes compromise with the principles of life thus adding to the already existing load of karmas. Our wishes have no limits but the period of stay in life is too short to fulfill all wishes. If all wishes are to be fulfilled then our lifespan should be unlimited but this can’t happen. This results in our rebirth in different species of life where those wishes could be fulfilled and these wishes are a cause of sustaining life in different categories. Just think, if everyone’s wish is to be fulfilled in his present life then the entire balance of nature, as well as systems, will collapse. It is just not possible. We have enjoyed everything very well while in different life categories and got this human life with God’s utmost grace. Our purpose of life should, therefore, be to rise above to next level i.e. GOD. The true purpose of life is to attain salvation, moksha or nejaat, which we can’t do in any other life form and only now in this human life by following the teachings of A PERFECT MASTER. Only they have the power to burn our stores of karmas and help us merge with GOD.