PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING. PART- 2

As already discussed in part-1, parenting and grandparenting never cease to exist till we live; these only undergo a change from one to the other. The attachment (Moh) with children is responsible for the propagation of life on this planet. Just think for a while, if the parents don’t care about the new-born babies, the life will come to an end. Nature creates attachment in the hearts of parents and grandparents for the baby before he or she takes birth. From day one nature provides the new-born with two permanent and dedicated caretakers in the form of mother and father, who sacrifice their everything for the upbringing of their child. Nature creates milk in the breasts of the mother on the birth of new-born so that he can be fed till he is able to take solid food. The moment he needs solid food, nature gives teeth to the baby and when he needs more hard food, the delicate milk teeth are replaced automatically with the set of hard teeth. Nature has its own way of working and it works through the medium of its creation.

Anyway, the aim of good parenting is to shape the future of the child in such a way that he is able to face the world with courage and contribute a lot to the welfare of the future generations as well as to the nation, and to the mankind.

The initial five years of child’s life are very crucial. He makes a lot of efforts to learn to speak, sit, stand, walk, play, interact and understand many things including pre-nursery education. By nature, he is a keen watcher and a fast learner, parents have therefore to be very cautious about their child. No quarreling, no shouting, no harsh words, no punishments for and before your child. Always remain positive, friendly, and cool before him. Teach him to respect elders, socialize with people, obey elders, avoid arguments, give suitable time to his studies and playing games. He should be taught, rather encouraged to share his toys and eatables with other family members and friends. Sharing and caring can be taught only at this age. When he is to go to school, do take care of his health and hygiene. Teach him to wash hands before and after meals, clean his nose whenever required with a handkerchief. Do help him in taking bath and using the toilet till he learns to do the same.

From the sixth year onwards the child learns a lot about his family, relatives, friends, and surroundings. The child at this stage needs to be disciplined and his thought and energies properly channelized. He should be encouraged to follow a proper daily routine, like going to bed, getting up early, a little morning walk or exercise, taking a bath, getting ready for school in time, checking his school bag to ensure that all necessary books, notebooks, lunchbox, water bottle etc are properly kept inside. After school, do interact with him to make him comfortable so that before taking his meals he is off from the school fatigue. Help him in getting fresh and in changing his clothes. Give him time for playing, watching a programme of his choice on TV, help him in completing his homework. Both parents, as well as grandparents, should be quite friendly with them and understand their weaknesses and strong points, as only then they will be in a position to provide good counseling and support for the overall development in their child’s character and behavior. They should take care, recognize, and appreciate the interests and choices of their children. The children at this stage must be made to understand the difference between a good and a bad touch as well as the way to react in case of such an eventuality.

During the period of juvenility, there is an element of the immaturity of thought and conduct in the behavior of a child. This period is very crucial in the life of a child. Parents, as well as grandparents, need to keep a strict and secret watch on the behavior and activities of their child especially in the present times when everything is available on the internet with the press of a button. Give more time to the child, be more friendly with them and keep them engaged in studies, games, and other extracurricular activities so that they don’t remain idle. It is always advisable to engage the child in the decision making on small family issues and give recognition to their point of view so that they feel their importance and remain attached to the family. Please remember that an idle man’s brain is devil’s workshop. Don’t let his mind become a Devil’s workshop. This is a stage when the parents may have to be strict sometimes in order to discipline their child. The old proverb ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ is to be kept in mind by the parents. The grandparents at this stage should not interfere with the hard decisions of the child’s parents and rather should keep cool.

Parents have sometimes to take tough decisions in the interests of their child and the child being more close and comfortable with the grandparents, may try to attract their sympathies and support in order to oppose the decision and behavior of his parents towards him. Grandparents should never support the child, instead, they should, politely and with love, try to make the child understand the point of view of his parents and support the view in the overall interests of the child.

Once the child becomes major and completes his education, do provide him support and guidance for choosing and starting his career…………… Then the marriage of the child and his life takes a new turn. Shortly the parents will become grandparents and the grandparents will become great-grandparents or the Gone-grandparents and the Life will keep on changing positions. Please keep on passing the family values and traditions to the future generations. Family traditions and the family values are the roots which must remain strong to keep the family tree growing and developing.

THE DESERTED MANSIONS

From the time immemorial, Man has been building big mansions to live in happily for himself and for the generations to come. He has been building big castles and strong forts for his safety and security.

But has he achieved his desired objectives? If we look at those huge ruins today, we find the dwellers missing. These deserted mansions are dying slowly but steadily. Have the strong forts and big castles saved his life from death?

All these huge buildings are decaying, crumbling, and being consumed by insects as there is no one to take care of them. Wild bushes and big trees have taken roots in their sturdy walls and roofs. Once magnificent mansions, have now become a home for the rats, bats, vampires, cats, and monkeys. Some of these, once beautiful structures, are now haunted by the ghosts. The beautiful and priceless paintings in the magnificent halls and rooms are covered with spider webs and dust; no one to appreciate their beauty and take care of their maintenance. Has the person who got them built with so much wealth and passion, ever thought of the fate, his proud possessions would one day meet with such a pitiable condition? If by chance he again comes to human life with all his old passion and memory and visits his choicest possessions: Can anyone imagine how he would feel? He would definitely repent as to why he committed such a great blunder in his life……

Humans have the tendency of ignoring the history and trying to derive satisfaction and happiness from the huge possessions. Instead of achieving satisfaction and happiness from the possessions, they become restless while creating such possessions. Their cravings for more and more keep them toiling restlessly and sometimes they have to sacrifice the values of life and good principles of humanity. How can one derive happiness and satisfaction by such means? This is the dilemma of life and a Mirage which keeps one running until the end.

Happiness and satisfaction are not in the possessions, but these are in the contentment. A man with a contented heart is the richest of all and the one with greed and discontented heart is worst than a beggar even if he has abundant of wealth. We should take a lesson from the history and lead a simple and contented life and should always thank the Almighty for whatever he has bestowed upon us.

Whatever you can use in your life is actually yours. What you keep on possessing without using is a waste; for others to use. One keeps on building mansions, forgetting that lifespan is very short and he may not get the opportunity to enjoy his living in those mansions which he created with so much toil.

If we take a look at the present times, nothing seems to have changed. There is no dearth of big mansions which are empty as there is no one to live in. Those for whom, their ancestors had built these huge buildings have either migrated to other cities or abroad for their living.

We care more about our future generations than for ourselves, little realizing that if we are able enough to live our life comfortably as per socialistic and societal standards , will our future generation not be able to do anything for themselves? Why such a negative thought takes root in our mind? If we could do something ourselves, Our future generations would do better than us. With such a positive attitude, live your life happily lest you may have to repent afterward.

PLEASURES OF RETIRED LIFE

The golden period of your life starts when you retire from the active service or from active business/profession. This is the period when you can enjoy the Life as per your own choice and with full freedom without any worries, provided:-

  • You have Settled all your liabilities during the active period of your life.
  • Your children have settled professionally and personally.
  • You have a place to live which you can call your own Home; with your family who cares for you.
  • You have suitable pension or an accumulated pension fund to meet your needs.
  • And above all, You and Your spouse have maintained Good Health and a good understanding of each other.

If you look back to your pre-retirement days; You were so tight scheduled and having no time for your life partner, no time for family trips or even pilgrimage. You were always requesting leaves so that you could share time with your loved ones but the boss always frowned upon you with most typical lines,”You have so much of  pending work, how can you even think of going on leave???” and You listened to all this with a bowed head out of sheer compulsion. Your blood pressure rose during supervisor’s visits and his reprimands. The multitasking activities both in office and at home kept you under constant stress. Even when you tried to calm your mind through meditation and tried your best to concentrate, you couldn’t because the angry face of your boss always occupied the upper layers of your mind. You were more loyal to the ticking sound of your clock or the office or factory siren than anything else in this universe.

Now the Life is completely different after retirement, you are free from all those shackles, pulls and pressures? Don’t you now feel yourself nearer to GOD than ever before? Now you have enough time for everything of your choice. Now you are the boss of your own wishes and wills. You are now a free bird, so enjoy your flight of life like a bird. Keep on chirping, land at places you like, eat what you like to eat, and dance with your partner the way you both like.

Now, this is the time for you to enjoy the fruits and charms of freedom. Is not this amazing that the entire twenty-four hours of the day and all three hundred sixty-five and a quarter days of the year are your’s and your’s only? Every day is a holiday; a holiday for which you had to wait for five to six days in a week and you were never sure if the boss would call you on holiday for some urgent work. All your plans to enjoy on the weekly off used to be marred by such compulsions. Now no compulsions, as you are boss of your own self, so enjoy, enjoy and enjoy only. Remove all, from the life that comes between you and your happiness, your peace of mind, and GOD; be it a dispute, grudge, hate, anger or a complex.

Always try to remain happy and fearless. Don’t interfere in the affairs of others especially your own children. You may give advice if asked for, but let them have their own way. Don’t try to squeeze the generation gap as it will generate reactions and disturb your and family harmony.

Always be on the path of truth and don’t fear anything, not even your death. Whatever has to happen will happen; you can’t change it, then why worry; face it smilingly. At the same time don’t take much liberty of your freedom because everything will not happen as per your choice  Everyone can’t have similar choices and wishes, these differ from person to person, so let GOD decide what to do for you. The BIG BOSS is boss of the whole universe and loves us all. He takes care of all of us so don’t doubt his intentions. The best is, to surrender before Him and live to His will. You can’t change circumstances but you can change your attitude, so change it according to the times and always remain positive.

You are at the ripe age, so remember that you are the most beautiful human being. A fruit is more beautiful when it is ripe and so are you. Feel this beauty inside and outside you. Don’t expose yourself to risks such as investments in share markets, crypto currencies, Ponzi schemes or in any scheme of volatile nature because a ripe fruit can’t afford to withstand the winds and jerks of risks.

You are now more close to nature. Grow plants and watch them sprout out of the soil, and then growing into plants with tiny and shining leaves, flowering with magnificent colors and then bearing fruits and seeds. The pearl-like tiny dew drops on the leaves of plants and the grass in the morning are an amazing miracle to see.

Some people complain that they have too much spare time so they get bored. Getting bored in the twenty-first century is an impossible proposition. Make use of eighth and ninth wonders of the world if you luckily have both. The eighth wonder is your spouse who in spite being illiterate or less qualified, or even more qualified than you, remained with you through thick and thin when all nears and dears left you in adversity. You at this age have an exceptional understanding of each other. No one understands your mood, feelings and needs better than your better half. How beautifully she/he adjusts to every situation however difficult it may be. Is not that great wonder?

Your mobile phone is the ninth wonder of the world. Through the internet, you remain connected with the whole world. You can have any information available with the touch of a button. You can play games, read books of all types, see pictures of cities and places of the world over, watch movies and listen to music of your choice, share greetings and other messages with your friends and talk face to face with your relatives and friends living in any part of the globe.

So enjoy your retired life in a Smart Way. Don’t remain stuck to TV or mobile phone or your bed. Go for morning and evening walks even if for short distances. Do talk to and play with your grandchildren whenever you are with them. Play with kids of your locality. This will bring freshness and spirit of youthfulness in you.

You are lucky if you are enjoying Retired life, so thank God and keep smiling, meet friends, associates. Do some social service for the society without any considerations. Each day is a bonus for you. No one knows how much time we will get to stay in this beautiful world, so make the best use of whatever little time you have at your disposal. Do as much good as you can and remain as much contended as possible.

 

 

 

 

 

SAVINGS AND THE LIFESTYLES.

Nothing remains constant in this universe and changes do keep on happening without any breaks. Similarly, Life passes through various stages; childhood, adulthood, young age, and old age. For leading a comfortable life we need to generate good income, however without compromising with the principles of life. Our income too keeps on changing with the passage of time and similarly, our needs also undergo a regular change. To keep a balance between our income and expenditures, we need to make proper planning. Saving for all present and future needs such as daily household expenses, meeting any expense of some emergent nature, education of children, family outings for pleasure, marriages, building or owning a house, creating a pension fund for old age etc….etc., is therefore very urgent. For saving, we have to keep a balance between our income and expenses in such a way that there is always a surplus available every month.

Young age is the best period to save because we have the energy to work more and earn more and our expenses are comparatively less as compared to the advanced age. Our lifestyle has a correlation with our saving styles. We can increase or decrease our ratio of savings to our income by pursuing different lifestyles. It is as such advisable, especially for the youngsters to pursue a healthy and affordable lifestyle. The parents have the responsibility to teach their children as to how to imbibe good habits and encourage a healthy lifestyle, which would help them to use their income and resources in a judicious manner so that they could build their own portfolios for meeting any future needs and live a comfortable and peaceful life.

Everybody knows that our wants and wishes are unlimited whereas the income and resources are limited, so we have to strike a balance between the two in such a way that it always results in suitable savings. We have to use the principles of good Economics to manage our incomes and expenditures in a manner which assures good life and development without compromising with the basic needs of the family.

Although there has been more flow of funds in almost all the economies of the world and with that, the lifestyles of people have also changed. The new generation seems to have learned less about savings and managing the personal economy. There are market forces and techniques which lure the youngsters to the different lifestyles by providing them with more purchasing power, like credit cards of different types, personal loans against future salary, and finance for acquiring costly mobile phones, motorbike, car or any other item with the press of a button. Today’s market is seller’s market loaded with very attractive advertisements in print and electronic media. This is coupled with freely available purchasing power, that lures youngsters to gather junk and get trapped in never ending credit cycle. Their income is spent before it has actually accrued. The EMI’s eat away their income like a grasshopper. Unable to clear their credit card dues within the interest-free period, they are compelled to pay a very heavy interest and penalties which further add to their expenses.

One can save even with little income by managing the expenses in a manner that always ensures a surplus every month. Always prepare a budget before you spend. Note down every item of expenditure and analyse it at different intervals. It will give you a sense of your way of spending. You can mark items of wasteful expenses or those which have better and comparatively cheaper alternatives. There is no dearth of better alternatives. Cut all wasteful expenses and buy items for necessary use only.

Apparels, garments, and other items of daily use should be purchased in limited number because the fashion changes very frequently and better substitutes come on the market. Don’t buy just to store these items. These items simply fill your cupboards to be eaten by the termites. Please note that all items for good health and all beautiful clothes are much cheaper than items which spoil your health and presentation. Simple homemade food is cheaper and healthier than the junk food or food from the hotel or eateries. You may sometimes go for dining out, but very sparingly. we wear clothes to cover the body and also to look presentable. All such clothes are much cheaper than the torn out jeans which hardly cover 40% of our body and are very expensive.

Always understand the value of money and don’t spend just for the sake of spending; spending should always be purposeful and worth spending. you must have a vision in life for your future needs and accordingly, you should plan to save separately for every targeted future need. You have to decide your priorities and plan your savings accordingly.

Youngsters these days keep a bunch of credit cards just to ensure that they never fail to buy anything that they intend to buy. If one credit card fails to be a success, they try second, third and so on, till the transaction is successful. This attitude is ok in case of emergencies only but not otherwise. Such a misuse of your purchasing power without a supporting income will lead you to a debt trap, and once you are trapped a vicious circle sets into motion. One should not be a miser and compromise with his basic needs and qualities of good life, and at the same time, he should also not be a spendthrift.

Credit cards are a very useful financial instruments: the problem is with their misuse. They do provide purchasing power but not income. These should be used only to bridge gaps during some emergent circumstances, when you are short of funds for a short period and are sure to cover the gap from your income shortly. Credit cards these days are offered along with a lot of benefits attached to them like cash backs, bonus points and interest-free credit for some time. These freebies are in fact bait on the hook and once you swallow it, you can’t resist the pull of the string. The result may be a dangerous debt trap depending on your own lifestyle.

Just think of the time when you would grow old and get retired and suddenly you cease to earn. Who will support you? Do you think your sons will support you? They may, but not with grace. Why should you depend on others and make yourself miserable at the fag end of your life? The old age is the golden period of your life when you should be free from tensions and worries and live with respect and dignity.

SO, PURSUE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE DURING THE YOUNG AGE, MEET ALL LIABILITIES, AND BUILD A SUITABLE PENSION FUND TO TAKE CARE OF YOU DURING THE OLD AGE.